Trying

I dont really know what to talk about but i guess here it goes.
  People in this world just let me down. My friends tell me to just let go and just to have fun. It was easy for them to say that cause they dont really know me. I just want someone to tell me something about themselves. Letting me know that they actually trust me and to show some kind of emotion or something. i really dont know what the fuck i am saying but its in that point in the movie where like best friends have that moment that makes you realize something.
 There is where you are like they told me something i should just try to tell them about the past. he hurt the pain and everything that it hurts to say but they are your friend and he will understand. And probably not judge you. He has seen you at your worst and at your best but has never seen the true you.I am not the type of guy that says something just like that. i struggle on the thing i try to say to my friends. I care and i think i just care to much. I try to buy my way or just try to be the best friend that they have ever had. Money and smiles are the only things that i could hide but only one person has seen me but he is gone and hopefully ill see him.Everyone is like txt me or call me when i just cant hide my real self. AND DO THEY REALLY THINK I WANT TO TXT THEM MY FEELINGS. They could txt me. it shouldnt be the other way around.

Its not that i hide my emotion but its that i control them and deal with it. sometimes i cant it hits me.
I try to talk to someone or just go to someones house. Like today i called five of my friends that i know i could count on to cheer me up.
One didnt answer like always >.>
Second was shopping with her GM
Third she was one were trying to get her dress but kind of cheered me up :/
Fourth she was getting dressed so i let her go
Fifth he called back and talk(cheered me up) but it was somewhat enough
So stop me from doing something stupid like the old days

Having friends that just pick something else or someone else then you sometimes it hurts but i try to just forget about it.